Prayer

At about a week past my due date, I was willing to try anything to get that kid out of me. One of the things I tried was prayer. This was when I found that I can't do it. Here's why:

I tried "praying" in both the Christian sense of the word, which is to ask God with the faith that he will deliver, and the Religious Science sense of the word, which is to thank "God" in advance for delivery, with the assumption that I already have what it is I'm seeking, and, well, it's more complicated than that, but I'll stick with that for now. In this, however, I found that, to me, at least, "Affirmitave Prayer," or "Spiritual Mind Treatment," is just a sneakier form of Christian prayer. It's basically a tool to use to "trick" "God" into giving you what you want, rather than asking for it. (I know rog's going to have something to say about that one, but with all my understanding of it, that's just how it feels to me.)

The reason that neither of these approaches are ok for me comes from "Bruce Almighty." Everyone got what they prayed for, and the world (or buffalo, at least) fell apart. We're given what we're given based on what's ACTUALLY best for us, not what WE think would be best for us. So now, I've found that the only prayer I can feel not-silly about praying is for "my highest and best"--but then that's silly, too, because the universe wants nothing more than to give me my highest and best ANYWAY (what do you know...i guess I DO believe in something) and therefore asking for it is...redundant? For lack of a better word?

So when it comes down to it, I do still pray, but the only prayer I ever pray is simply "Thank you." Not for things that I'm hoping will come to me if I seem grateful enough, but for things that HAVE happened, and that I'm truly grateful for.

Ok. Hit me.